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Archive for August, 2011

The news is somewhat out!

A lot has happened since the last post. I had to move my doctor appt due to work commitments so I ended up getting in earlier than I thought. I was happy about that. Everything seems to be going well and I got an ultrasound too so I was able to see the baby. I could see it moving and everything! It was pretty cool.

After my appointment I called my family and some close friends to tell them. It was a fun day getting to tell everyone! I frequently heard “we thought you guys would never have kids.” Haha! It was definitely fun surprising everyone and of course my mom cried.

I also found out I had to go to Delaware for a work trip. I normally don’t mind traveling for work but given the fact that I now throw up all day and just want to lay on the couch, I didn’t think it was a great idea to fly across the country. But since only two people at work know I’m pregnant and neither of them are my boss I had to suck it up and go. I’m now drinking apple juice and eating french fries and tater tots and I find that if I stick to that plan I can calm my stomach for a while. Luckily I only threw up once on the plane. Of course I had to throw up after we landed and were all standing up waiting to get off the plane and it’s only by the grace of God that I made it to the bathroom!

I also ended up telling my boss yesterday and she was totally cool about it and very supportive. I’ve just been too sick to keep it a secret and someone is bound to hear me barfing in the office bathroom soon.

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I’ve been pregnant for about 8 weeks now and in addition to morning sickness, the hardest thing has been keeping this a secret…especially from my family! Many women don’t break the news to everyone until the end of the first trimester when the risk of miscarriage goes down. I plan on doing the same thing but it’s not an easy task. I’ve never been pregnant before and in general, when I go through something emotional I really like to have friends I can talk to when I need advice or just need to talk. This can be a scary process at first with all of the changes going on with my body and I’m glad I have a couple of friends I have told so I can go to them with questions.

It’s also difficult going to parties and other social events because I can’t drink. I always have a glass of wine so if I want to keep this a secret I can’t just not have a drink or people will suspect something is up. So I’ve been trying my best to hold a glass of wine along with a glass of water, only sip the water and then pour out the wine a little each time I go to the bathroom. I thought after one party last night that the parties were over for the rest of my first trimester but last night we were told about a going away party in two weeks for some friends who are moving back to England. I don’t want to miss it so I guess I will have to “fake” drinking again at one last party.

We’ve decided to tell our parents after my first doctor appointment. I just want to hear the heartbeat and make sure everything is ok before spreading the news. It’s so hard to talk to my mom on the phone and not say anything. My first appointment is August 15…8 days from today. I hope everything is ok. I can’t wait until this trimester is over. The morning sickness is awful and it’s stressful to try and keep this secret when you don’t feel so good. I’m ready to have this news out in the open!

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Morning sickness always sounded like something bad but I didn’t realize how horrible it was until I experienced it for myself. I now want to punch any woman who tells me she never had morning sickness (except for you Megan, I would never punch you!). I consider myself pretty healthy and I’m not used to feeling like crap all the time so this has been quite the adjustment for me. I’ve had to change my entire diet. I eat Paleo, which basically consists of eating meat, fish, eggs, fruit, veggies and nuts. I don’t eat breads or grains and I have a gluten intolerance and so if I do “cheat” occasionally with something bready I avoid gluten at all costs. This way of eating has been working for me for a while but as soon as the morning sickness kicked in it flew out the window.

The smell of meat and eggs makes me want to vomit and so far, anytime I have eaten meat, eggs or any kind of vegetable I have thrown up. So for the last almost 2 weeks I have subsisted on mac and cheese, crackers, cheese pizza (all gluten-free of course), french fries, bananas, grapes and blueberries. Those are the only things I crave and the only things I can keep down. I still get nausea throughout the day but it’s not as bad as it was the first week.

I always thought that when I got pregnant and had to hide the first trimester from friends that the hardest thing would be to hide the fact that I wasn’t drinking. Turns out that’s easy- as long as you have a drink in your hand nobody even notices that you’re not taking a sip! But right now, the hardest part has been hiding my new eating habits. I’m currently in school to become a health and nutrition coach, I have a few clients, and I’m known for eating healthy and avoiding grains. So how long can I pull off eating the above crap and not having anyone question it?

Speaking of food, I did have one recent experience that really pissed me off. My nutritionist knows what’s going on and when I ran into her in person she asked how I was feeling. I informed her about my current food choices and they were not supported by her at all. She got this horrified look on her face and it really annoyed me when she told me that she thought it was “mind over matter” and I should just try and eat better.

Um, I don’t really WANT to be eating the unhealthy foods that I am currently eating but frankly, I don’t have a choice in the matter. I felt judged because I wasn’t eating the way she thought I should be eating. I was really looking for some support based on my situation and it’s obvious that’s not the place I’m going to get it. I don’t think she understands that I have absolutely NO control over my body right now and it’s all I can do to eat food without barfing it back up.

Everything I’ve been reading about first trimester nausea and morning sickness says not to worry if you’re not getting the best nutrition at this time. The baby is still really small and isn’t getting much from me yet. I should be able to go back to my healthy eating in my second trimester once the nausea and vomiting goes away. I guess it’s a good thing my sessions with her are finished. I think I can manage this on my own and I certainly don’t need someone who doesn’t understand making me feel bad for listening to my body. I’m doing the best that I can, which is all that can be expected of anyone in this situation.

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So, it’s been about 2 weeks since I found out that I was pregnant. It was totally a shock at first. I suspected something was up when my period was late but really, we weren’t seriously “trying” and I had no idea. I mean, I’m 36 so I kind of thought it would be a miracle if it even happened. So between the end of June and the middle of July I was having fun and boozing it up with my favorite drink: wine! Little did I know there was someone inside partying right along with me!

About a week after I missed my period I couldn’t stand the suspense anymore and went to Rite Aid in Pleasant Hill (so I wouldn’t run into anyone from work) on my lunch break to get a pregnancy test. It was July 21, 2011. I went home to take it and started screaming in disbelief when the test said “pregnant.” I called Andy right away but he was busy at work and it took me 3 tries to get him to answer the phone. He was excited and shocked as well. It was definitely difficult to go back to work and get anything done.

The test!

Fast forward to 48 hours later. We were hosting our annual summer BBQ and had about 40 guests coming to the house. Of course that’s the day that morning sickness decided to appear ALL DAY. ACK! Not only was I walking around with a glass of wine that I wasn’t drinking (still had to keep up my party girl image), but I was also making frequent trips upstairs to barf my brains out. NOT a good feeling. I really don’t know how I made it through the day. We did end up sharing the news with a few close friends who came to the party but managed to keep it quiet from everyone else.

Frankly, I’m still kind of in disbelief and it doesn’t quite seem real (except for when I am throwing up). My first doctor appointment is August 15 so maybe it will sink in after that.

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