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Archive for April, 2012

Here are a couple of shots we took when she was 4 weeks old:

Four weeks old on 4-21-12

Four weeks old on 4-21-12

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April

The first two weeks after having Eliza were BRUTAL! It was a combination of love, resentment and panic attacks. My mom came into town when Eliza was 6 days old and I was so grateful to have her there! Andy and I were doing ok but I was a hormonal mess. I was still having panic attacks almost every day. I would feel like the house was closing in on me and I was about to be trapped. I had to get out RIGHT THEN.

Andy and I would take the baby and go on walks around the block when that happened. However, it was cold and I felt bad having her out. At least once my mom was here she could stay inside with the baby while Andy took me out for a walk. The only thing I could do to stop them was take Ativan. I felt guilty taking it while nursing but the doctor said it was a safe amount and it was the only thing that calmed me down. Luckily, my last panic attack was the day my mom left and I haven’t had one since!

When Eliza was 12 days old, my mom and Andy pushed for me to attend a mom’s group Learn and Share class at Day One, a local center for new and expectant parents. When I showed up, Eliza was the youngest baby and I was really happy to have other moms ahead of me who could fill me in on what was to come or give me advice on what I was going through. It was a small group of 5 of us for 5 weeks and it was wonderful! I looked forward to going to the meetings each week.

Ready to meet the Easter Bunny!

One of my favorite moments was getting Eliza dressed up to go get a picture with the Easter Bunny when she was 11 days old. I didn’t have to buy one newborn-sized outfit yet in the stack of clothes that were given to us happened to be a onesie, pants with bunny feet, a hat and sweater with bunnies on them. Perfect! I dressed Eliza and sat her on the couch, took a picture and posted on Facebook. I distinctly remember that moment being the one that I realized how fun it was going to be to dress a little girl in cute clothes. I think she became my little doll at that moment! Then mom, Andy and I took her to Sunvalley Mall to have her picture taken with the Easter Bunny!

Eliza with the Easter Bunny

I hate to make other parents jealous but Eliza has always been a good sleeper. Not so much the first 2 weeks but after that she was sleeping for 5 or 6 hour stretches. I remember the had told us she should eat every 3 hours and a couple of times I woke her up to eat and she cried and wouldn’t eat for a while because she was mad. I finally decided to just let her tell me when she was hungry and then we both got enough sleep and we were ALL happy!

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Ok, I have to be honest. When I wrote the previous post on March 21, I knew that I was going to be induced on Friday, March 23. We kept it a secret for the most part and only told a few people. I didn’t want people constantly calling, texting and emailing for updates and I didn’t want anyone at the hospital while I was in labor. I didn’t know what I was getting into but I knew I couldn’t handle visitors until after Eliza was born.

We were instructed to call the hospital at 5pm on Friday to find out when we were supposed to come in. When I called they told me that I was actually supposed to call in at 6pm. At this point I was so miserable and READY and I think the nurse sensed in my voice that I couldn’t wait one more hour to find out so she told us to come in at 7:30pm. Andy came up with me and got me checked in and then moved the car while I got dressed and put on my gown. The labor and delivery nurses were VERY nice and explained everything and tried to make me feel as comfortable as I could possibly be.

At 8:30pm they began the induction where they put something in my cervix to stimulate dilation. It hurt SO BAD and I cried after it went in. Then I had to lay on my side and not get up for 2 hours. They would leave this thing in for 12 hours until 8:30am on Saturday morning. I started feeling contractions around 5am and pretty soon after I was ready for an epidural. Kudos to you ladies who do this naturally but that wasn’t for me. The epidural was great and I spent most of the day Saturday pain-free and slept on an off. Since I hadn’t gotten much sleep the week before this was much needed.

They took the cervical thing out at 8:30am and I was only 1cm dilated. They started pitocin at 9am. When they checked me around 1pm I was only 1.5cm dilated. I was disappointed that things were progressing so slowly. Then they checked me at 2pm and I was 3cm dilated. They checked me at 4pm and I was shocked that I was 9cm dilated and my water had broken. Since I couldn’t feel anything from the epidural I had no idea! My doctor had me wait a couple of hours for the baby’s head to come down so I wouldn’t have to push as long. So I started pushing around 6:40-6:45pm.

That was when things started to get surreal. I could not believe I was there getting ready to have a baby. Even though I had known for 9 months that this was coming it was still crazy to me. And like everyone says, all modesty goes out the window! At one point I remember asking if it was normal to feel nauseous and the nurse said yes and handed me a bucket and there I was spread eagle in front of Andy, my doctor and a nurse, throwing up into a bucket. Anyway, it felt like it took FOREVER for her head to come out but little Eliza was born at 7:24pm so I guess I pushed for less than an hour. 

Once again, another surreal moment when she came out and they put her on my chest. I couldn’t believe that I was a mom and Andy was a dad and this baby was ours. It literally took a few days to get used to her. Some people say they fall in love with their babies the minute they see them but that didn’t happen for me. It happened gradually over a few days after the shock wore off and I found myself staring at her and crying and my heart filling with love.  This whole birth experience is just crazy insanity that turns your world completely upside down. I can’t say I’d do it again but I am definitely glad that I did it. Eliza is so cute and sweet and while we’re still getting used to her, we’re so glad to have her in our lives.

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